By: Miss Madeline Bejanian
Featured in Issue #7 of World Success Magazine
The things I carry give myself the ability to climb and reach the peak of a mountain or prevent me from coming close to reaching distance of the peak. Before climbing, I must make sure that I am not carrying too much weight on my shoulders that might prevent me from getting to the peak. No matter how close I am there are always going to be gradual weights of hardship, pleasant forces, and opposing forces, present for or against my climb. These light and heavy forces are what I comfortably carry or heavily drag throughout each and every day of my life. The things I carry in my mind, my spirit, and my backpack consist of physical and/or abstract findings, contributing to the pleasant aspects or the uncomfortable hump from heaviness pressed against my spine.
One of the things I carry, that others may or may not see, in my mind, is the weight of concern about my future. This contributes to the heaviness of doubt that presses, the force of gravity, down against my rare smile two times greater than it actually should. I also carry the massive force of uncertainty, not allowing me to make a certain decision in my life and to stick with it. This weight of uncertainty adds on more weight to my doubt and concern of my future obligations. Although they are weightless in reality, doubt and uncertainty seem like the most massive forces that can drag me down in my world.
The memories I carry are what bring out my sorrowful expressions and occasionally make my head and shoulders bend downwards. The heaviest memory of all was the passing of my grandmother last year. The weight of this remembering slightly decreases over time but acts like a permanent scar which appears the same at every glance. I carry the denial that the most innocent people are the ones who depart from the planet earlier than they should. I carry the understanding that many of the wonderful presences of people are here the day before but have a possibility of not being present the following day. I carry the thought of knowing that not a single physical object or the physical existence of a person can last forever. I carry the tragic memories of where my parents were, and their horrifying reactions on September 9, 200l. I carry the past experiences with my previous friends and now carry the questions why I am no longer in close relations with them like before. I repeatedly carry these memories along with other distractions, which include social media, songs, and movies. Once when I allow these minor disturbances to draw away my attention, I then turn away from the major things that must be considered more often. In most cases, I fall into the trap of distraction and eventually end up carrying the burden of guilt. The social media is what I enjoy at times, and distract myself with, temporarily erasing dissatisfying memories from the past. During other situations, when I carry these distractions, I prevent myself from facing the truths of reality. When I carry the denial of remembering serious occurrences, I cause a frown to weigh down my smile.
The abstract thing I carry, in my spirit, is the weightless hope that convinces me that I will someday find light at the end of my tunnel. Although it has no mass, hope helps relieve the surplus pressure of the negative weights pulling me down. By removing my heavy loads of hardship, hope paints a picture of my possible, successful future. I carry the hope that I will one day leave a mark on the earth that contributes to the glory of my successes and to the benefits of mankind. I carry patience at home and school that keeps me working, learning and eventually waiting for my fulfillment. No matter how many hours, days, or years it will take for the light at the end of the tunnel to become visible, I will still carry patience as it becomes a heavier burden over time. In order for me to remain standing and to keep walking toward a pleasing future, against opposing forces, I must carry more hope and patience, in my spirit, rather than the heavy forces of uncertainty and doubt.
The objects I carry, in my backpack, are determined necessities for each day which consists of notebooks, textbooks, paper, five types of pencils and pens, white out, two binders, a planner, lunch, a wallet, keys, pictures, headphones, and identification cards. The notebooks, textbooks, paper, pens, and pencils are the daily tools I carry and need to accomplish required school activities. Along with these concrete objects, I carry the intention to carefully learn, and to develop my writing. These certain objects are the physical messengers that transfer the facts I must learn from my paper, to my mind. The paper I carry is what provides me with a blank outline and a broad range of options of what to write. The pens and pencils allow me to then carry along a sense of freedom yet uncertainty about what I will write, and how I will use blank paper productively for my benefit. The white out and erasers I carry help me remove any types of mistakes I make while I doubtfully write. In other situations, when I no longer carry white out (since I periodically run out), I have no choice but to stick with my writing even if I am not satisfied with it.
With the binders and the planner, I carry the sense of organization and responsibility. In my binder, I carry the loads of homework and tests that I have already taken, and in my planner, the upcoming homework and tests I will have to carry later on. The wallet and lunch I carry with relief lifts the weight of my expenses and hunger off my shoulders. My keys lead me the way to where my expenses can be prevented and my hunger can be fed. I carry the heavy pictures which pour out the baggage of the past and the headphones that attempt to drag my focus away from them. Additionally, I carry what seems appropriate in means of identification, but also the cards that label me in terms of an ordinary number. These distinct objects that I carry along with abstract forces every day, satisfy my daily needs and desires.
Each and every object has a weight, which corresponds to positive and negative forces, causing the pleasant and/or uncomfortable stages in my life to occur. I must carry only a specific amount of each abstract or physical object in order to balance out all the weight pressed against me. No matter how much weight I carry in my mind, spirit, or backpack, I cannot allow the heaviness to prevent me from overcoming any obstacle and to continue climbing toward any mountain’s peak.
-Miss Madeline Bejanian